silly jokes

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?


Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday



*********



Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?



Customer: What other colors do you have?



*********



Manager: Sorry, but i can't give u a job. I don't need much help.



Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!



*********



Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?



Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.



*********





Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!



Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?



*********



Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.



Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!



*********



Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!



Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.



*********



Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!



Son: That's why I say she's no good!

Balakrishna Adhinayakudu jokes

More Balakrishna Jokes

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Software Life and statistics

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Mindset.. Wife & Husband

Husband: Mom called me and she is coming tomorrow. Her train will reach by morning 4 o clock!!!

Wife: She came just 4 months back only right? Why is she coming now again? Tomorrow is Sunday I thought of getting up late but your mom had to come on a Sunday itself and that too morning 4 o clock.

Where will she even get an auto at that time?

Husband : Not my mom, your mom is coming!!!

Wife: Wow!!! Mom is coming. It’s been more than 2 months I have seen her.

Listen na, I have the number of the auto driver please call him and tell to come in time tomorrow morning.

Its good, tomorrow is Sunday, even the kids will be home as don’t have school. They can play with their grandmother.

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All about Rajinikanth ...Just joking

When Rajnikant was studyin in 3rd std....some1 stole his rough note....&

Now they call it as .............Wikipedia



Crazy people!!!! ;)





===========================================================

When Rajnikant was a Student……..



Teachers use to Bunk the classes!!!



===========================================================



Rajnikant started college. All student were confused while taking admission because name of college is

“Rajnikant’s Medical College of Engineering for Commerce”.





===========================================================



Rajnikant purchased a road roller…





Guess why??????





To Iron his Clothes……………………………



===========================================================



Rajnikant was shot today..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Funeral of the bullet is tomorrow…J





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THE MOST NEGLECTED FACT OF THE ENTIRE DECADE!!!!



Once a farmer replaces scare crow in the farm with Rajnikant’s statue…



..And Birds returned grains they took last year as well



===========================================================



If Rajni works in BPO, clients would work in shifts! :D



===========================================================

Rajinikant got 150 questions in exam paper asking - "Solve any 100 questions"



He solved all 150 and wrote, " Rascalla!, CHECK ANY 100!"



===========================================================



One day Rajani thought to play cricket in monsoon and rain stopped due to play….



===========================================================



Tonight at 9 Rajani can be seen in the sky… as he is participating in the Asian Games’ high jump event…



===========================================================



What do you think Vodafone 3G tag line should be :-

Faster ..

Better…

RAJNIKANT….





No it should be (strictly)



RAJNIKANT.

RAJNIKANT..

RAJNIKANT…



Mind it

===========================================================



Rajnikanth's next project is the Titanic in Tamil. However, Rajni has twisted the climax. Both the lead actors survive. Rajni swims

across the Atlantic Ocean with the heroine in one hand and... the Titanic in the other



===========================================================



“Rajnikanth doesn’t breathe…air comes to hide in his lungs”



===========================================================



“Who says the world will be destroyed in Dec 2012…..Rajnikant just bought a Laptop with three years warranty”…..:P

===========================================================





Rajni can walk faster than light….



“Rajni cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another”.



===========================================================

Law of Conservation of Rajni





All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did...
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa... mind it!!!

===========================================================



Once a photo of Rajnikant was givenfor Xerox. Don’t even try to guess what happened…

We got two copies of the Xerox machine.





===========================================================



One more:



Once upon a time

Rajnikant used Tooth Powder to get strong teeth



Today that powder is known as….



“AMBUJA CEMENT”







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Jokes ..to bring little smile.

Boy: after our marriage..u promise me dat u wont ask for separate house for your own..

Girl: No dear, I am not like dat kinda gal..u can shift ur Mom to some other house..



"Rishta wahi..Soch nayi"



==================***********=============================



Girl to her BF: Is week movie dekhenge..

nxt week shopping karenge..



BF: Uske nxt week mai mandir jayunga...

GF: woh kyu?

BF: Bheek mangne...



==================***********=============================



A Woman was kidnapped ..

the kidnapper sent a piece of her finger to her Husband and demanded money.

Husband replied : " I want more proof..MUNDI bhejo MUNDI "



==================***********=============================



Marwadi donates blood to an Arab, Arab gifts him a Ferrari.



Marwadi again donates him blood, but this time he gives him only 1 rupee.



Marwadi - Yeh kya hai?



Arab- Ab meri ragome tera khoon daud raha hai. :)))



==================***********=============================



Husband : Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife : Why Three?

Husband : For you and your parents



==================***********=============================



A Man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary & his wife did not speak to him for 3 months!



Was the necklace fake?



No,that was the Deal.



==================***********=============================



Sharabi-AAJ Tab tak piyenge

jab tak woh saamne wale 3

ped 6 nahi

dikhte

pub manager-saalon bas karo

saamne pehle se hi 1 ped hai



==================***********=============================



dulha on marriage to dulhan"shadi se pahle tera koi boyfrnd tha kya?"

dulhan silent

dulha"is khamoshi ko main kya samzu?"

dulhan"Abe gin to lene de...."



==================***********=============================

Jokes on physics

Physics would have been much much Easier...


If..

If..

If..

If..

The Tree itself had Fallen On Newton's Head Instead of the Apple..!!

************************************************** ***************

How Newton Died ?



.

.

He died After seen South Indian Movies..



.

Coz He Couldnt Bear Rajnikant Breakin All The Law Of Physics which He

Made...

************************************************** **************



WHICH IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ALPHABET OF ALL?



" W "!!



B'COZ ALL WORIES START WITH "W"



WHO?

WHY?

WHAT?

WHEN?

WHICH?

WHOM?

WHERE?

WAR!

AND FINALLY



WIFE....!



************************************************** **************

Moral of the movie ROBOT-

.

...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A girl can not only spoil a man but even machines-!:-o



************************************************** ***



newton's law:

lecturing is d phenomenon of transferin the info 4m d notes of lecturer to

the students notes without passing throu'd brain of either



************************************************** **************

Gals Language:

Stupid(U r Smart)

Idiot(U r Cute)

Shut up(I Luv u)

I'll kill u(I'll die 4 u)

GN(All slept u can cal me nw)

Fwd 2 gals to laugh & boys 2 undrstnd



************************************************** **************



When Alchohol is consumed,

Whatever is in the mind comes out...





So I suggest all students to drink before writing da exams.



************************************************** **************

You know a

Crazy fact of todays generation

:Once upon a time, GIRLS used to cook like their mothers.

But now they drink like their Fathers...!!!



************************************************** **************

what is swarg?

american salary,

british house,

chinese food,

indian wife,

what is narak?

american wife,

british food,

chinese house,

indian salary



************************************************** **************



A Sign At A Petrol pump ...





"Plz ... Don't Smoke Here ... Your Life May Be Worthless,

But

Petrol Certainly Isn't...!"



************************************************** **************

The real problem does not start when a boy starts looking at girl.

It begins when she turn back and gives a smile.



************************************************** **************



If u r with 1 girl its Anand...

If u r with 2 girls its Mahanand...

If u r with 3 girls its Parmanand but

If u r with many girls then u must b Swami Nityanand.



************************************************** **************



Earlier

Luv Startd wid Eyes

Grew wid Gifts

Ended wid Tears





Now: Luv Starts frm Cellphone

Grows wid Msgs

&

Ends wid "UpbhogtaKisi aur Call par Vyast hai.”



************************************************** **************

When u read a love message,

U never think of the person who sent u the sms..

But u think of the person whom u love the most!!

STRANGE..



sala kharcha kiska

or

Charcha kiska!



************************************************** **************



The Trouble With The World Is That, The Stupids Are Full Of Confidence And

The Intelligents Are Full Of Doubts



************************************************** *****************

A student grabbed a coin,



Flipped it in the air & said,

“Head, I go to sleep.”



Tail, I watch a movie.



If it stands on the edge I’ll study.

balakrishna studies....

Galileo used lamp 2 study

Graham Bell used candle 2 study

Do you know what Balayya used to complete his studies.....


It is 'Ambica Agarbatti'.....

love more balayya jokess... click here balakrishna jokes

balayaa ...rocks

1) After Tollywood T20match.






jr.Ntr: Enduku babai umpire ni kottavu...?


Balaya: Nenu bowling chestunnapudu vadu nannu "OVER AINDI" ani Thittadura anduke kottanu ra .....!










2) jr.Ntr: Babai Naku recharge chepinchu naa mobile lo Balance ledu.


Balayya: Enduku ra na dantlo full Balance undi nee Bluetooth on chesuko nenu Pampisthanu..










3) jr.Ntr:Babai eddo kotha college kaduthunavanta...?


College name enti Babay..?


Bal Krishna: " BALAYYA MEDICAL COLLEGE OF ENGIEERING"










4) jr.Ntr: Enti babay chair kothaga undi eppdu konnavu...?


Balaya: Ninna Audio function ki vellmu " TAKE YOUR SEAT" annaru ra...










5) Nurse: Congrats sir me intlo mahalakshmilanti kuthuru putindi ...


Balaya: Are yem technology, wife hospital lo unite Kuthuru intlo ela putindi..........????










6) jr.Ntr: IIT ki Opposite word enti babay...?


Balaya:U U coffee ra.......










7) jr Ntr: Babai nuvu evari kanna i Love you ani cheppava...?


Balaya: cheppanu Kani i 2 love you antundi ra aa rendo vadevado ardham kavatam ledu...










8) jr Ntr: Babai water nundi current enduku teetharu...?


Balaya: Aala tiyakapothe manamu snanam chesetapudu shock kodatadi kadara...






9)Balaya: Arey nee mobile lo time 11pm ani pettuko ra..


Ntr: Enduku Babai...?


Balaya: Naku night balance undi ra phone chestanu..






10) Balaya & Ntr walking on d road.They saw 1000rs note on d road.


Ntr: babai manam fifty fifty teesukundam..?


Balaya: mari migilina 900 em cheddam ra..


Last but not the least......






Ultimate one J






Sir: Nuvvu emi avvalanukuntunnavu ra??


Student : Nenu MBBS chadivi, Police ayyi,


manchi soft ware company lo, lawer ga work chesi pedda pedda building lu kattukuntu collector ga job cheddamanukuntunnna sir


Sir: Rey nijam cheppu nuvvu nuvvu nuvvu BALAKRISHNA Kodukivi kada leaka fan kada...?


:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)


I wish the smile to be continued for ever on ur face.

cwg jokes

Delhi badnaam hui CWG tere liye! Sadkein bhi jam hui, CWG tere liye




1) BREAKING NEWS: Suresh Kamadi just tried to hang himself in the CWG stadium. But the ceiling collapsed



2) The truth behind bulk sms banning is to stop kalmadi jokes and not Ayodhya



3) Look at the brighter side; the more countries pull out, the higher India is ranked in the final medal’s tally.



4) Terrorists set to skip CWG 2010 citing unlivable conditions and fear for their safety.



5) Q: How many contractors are required to change a light bulb in Delhi CWG stadium?

A: 1 Million. (1 to change bulb and rest 999,999 to hold the ceiling)



6) Whats common between CWG committee and students???

Ans: both start their preparations at the 11th hour.....



7) Prince Charles is actively convincing the Queen to visit dengue hit Delhi, this may be his last chance to become the king!



8) Thanks to Guernsey and Jersey for threatening to pull out of games! We now know these countries existed!



9) Ek waqt aisa aayega, kalmadi bhi sharmayega



10) A collapse a day keeps the athletes away



11) Ba ba Kalmadi, have you any shame. No sir, No sir, we are having a Common Loot Game. Crores for my partner, crores for the dame, crores for me too, for spoiling India's name!



12) AMAZING BUT TRUE: If you re-arrange the letters "Sir U made lakhs" you get "SURESH KALMADI



13) next edition of CWG will be called KWG, Kalmadi Wealth Games



14) Photo for the last one..!

balayya jokes ..

Balakrishna went to cloth market







Balaya: Manchi cloth chupinchandi..






Salesman: plain lo chupincha mantara….






Balaya: Nee yabba plane lo kadu ra ikkade chupinchu…


=================================================================



Ntr: Babay which is the biggest animal, Ant or Elephant…?






Balaya: First tell the date of birth of those animals. Then I will tell


the answer…..


==================================================================



Interviewer : Congrats you r selected. U r 1 ^st year salary is Rs19000


and next year it will be 26000.






Balaya: Thank you sir. I will join next year…..


===================================================================



Aghora tells to Balaya abt Magadheera….






Aghora: Vadu MANDAY agni golam la kanipistadu…






Balaya: Avuna Mari vadu TUESDAY kanapdite ela gurthu pattali ghora….?






Aghora: Nuvvu maaravra Baaliga


=====================================================================



After eating fish Balaya did not drink water why…?






Because






He feared that fish will start swimming in his stomach….


=======================================================================



Interviewer: Me birth place ekkda…?






Balaya: Tiruvananthapuram….






Interviewer: Tell me the spelling…?






Balaya: Indaka joke chesa, nenu GOA lo puttanu…


======================================================================



Ntr: Babay ratri mobile charging petti padukoku..






Balaya : Endukura …?






Ntr : Battery blast avutundanta…






Balaya : Telusura bacha anduke nenu Battry teesi charging Pettanu…


======================================================================



One day Balaya and Akber went 2 masjid..






Akber : Allah hoo Akber…






Balaya : Allah hoo Balaya


======================================================================



Ntr: Adenti Babai Tablet sides cut chesi vesukuntunnavu…?






Balaya: Side effects rakunda untayani..


=======================================================================



Ntr : Rakhi Bagundi evaru kattaru babai…?






Balaya: na Lovertho nene kattiinchukunna….


=========================================================================



Balaya waiting at bus stop, one girl came in scooty & asked do you want


Lift…?






Balaya: NO thanks my house in ground floor..


=======================================================================



Balaya: Express train eppudu vastundi..?






T.c: 9ki






Balaya: Local train eppudu vastundi…?






Tc.: 1ki






Balaya: Goods eppudu vastundi…?






T.c: Nuv ekkadaki povali…?






Balaya: Track dati avatalaki povali…

balayya sms joke 2

Jnr Ntr :  Water nunchi current enduku testharu ?

Balayya babai : cheta na kodaka ala tiyakapothe snanam chesetaudu shock kodtadi kadarra

Jnr Ntr : Nuvu keka babai

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Balayya Jokes

Balayya SMS Joke 1

Balayya after huge success of SIMHA found the pulse of his fans .His future movies names are

1.ugrasimha
2.Simha okato number.
3.Simham no1
4.Super Simham
5.Ma manchi Simham
6.letha Simhalu
7.Mooga Simham

and final one 'ma simham meedha ottu me simham chala manchidi'

more balayya jokes

enjoy more balayya jokes @

Balayya Jokes

Balakrishna Jokes ...Bavatar

enjoy more balayya jokes @

Balayya Jokes

silly jokes

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?


Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday



*********



Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?



Customer: What other colors do you have?



*********



Manager: Sorry, but i can't give u a job. I don't need much help.



Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!



*********



Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?



Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.



*********





Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!



Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?



*********



Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.



Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!



*********



Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!



Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.



*********



Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!



Son: That's why I say she's no good!

balakrishna jokes -III (As Pokri Mahesh Babu)

pokiri by balakrishna

Ileana: Em chestuntaru meeru,

Balaiah: Mari antha gattiga adigite em cheptaam. Nuvvem anukuntunnav?

Ileana: Ante... age ayipoyi cinemalu lekunda kali kali ga tiruguthu verri chupulu chusukuntu tirige bandodu anukunna....

balaiah: correct manamadhe...

Ileana: kaaligane unnav ga panikochche panulu cheyochu ga...

balaiah : kaali ga evadunnadu. Dabbuliste emaina chesta...

Ileana: emaina ante?

balaiah: ippudu flop cinemalu free ga chesaga, mamuluga aithe dabbulu tisukuni chestha...

Ileana: endukala?

enjoy more balayya jokes @

Balayya Jokes

balakrishna joke -II ( As Software engineer)

if balakrishna was a software engineer, his dialoges:
1) Etthi kottanante Google search lo kooda kanapadakunda potav...
2) Orey Java Reddy, Nenu VB chesa, VC chesa, C kuda chesa nee yabba neenu Java kuda chesa... Nuvvu.. Software vamsam lo ne puttunte.. neeke ganaka.. oka company vunte.. laptop, desktop rendu vunte... raa ra.. dammunte naaku interview cheyyara... raa ra
3) Gattiga Keyboard button nokkanate.. aa sound ke job istav.. alantidi nenu personal gaa vatchi interview ivvatam entra...
4) Debugging naaku maa amma uggu paalatho pattindi ra.
5) Program nuvvu ichina sare, nannu raayamanna sare, Logic nuvvu cheppina sare nannu alochinchamanna sare, eppudayina ekkadaina ee cyber center lo nina sare ... choosukundam

enjoy more balayya jokes @

Balayya Jokes

wife vs husband ..wife wins allways

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'


'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...


The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.' The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain . God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;


God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!'



The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.